R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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