Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
