I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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