Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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