Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
