So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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