I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
