i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
