U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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