Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
