p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
