Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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