OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize