the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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