We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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