We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is Oprah even human
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
