she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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