Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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