is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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