its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
