just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
