Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
