Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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