I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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