what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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