Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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