So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
