Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
