dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
as a side note pls kill me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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