see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
