I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
