she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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