Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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