Do you still have your period?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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