i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
