They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
