Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
