Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize