Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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