I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
