i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
