You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
