My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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