I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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