But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
