i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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