sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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