Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
