fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
