he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
