Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
