We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
