I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
