Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
