You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
