I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
