I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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