4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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