He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
