ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
