Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
