idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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