I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
