i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
