He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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