Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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