You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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