i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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