EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
