So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
vagina is talking i cant
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
